Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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