Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
