you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
