Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
soo... how was my night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
