im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize