we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
