he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
