apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize