Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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