This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
