your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
