dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
