a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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