im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
