Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
