Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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