Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
