He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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