What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
