I think my vagina is haunted
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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