Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
