There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
