So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
