it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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