We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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