One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
