He told me they were just razor bumps!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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