My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
