This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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