At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
