It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
