I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
