I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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