so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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