No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
