I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
