The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
