ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
