Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
