just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
