This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
