Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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