love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
