You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
