So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
