There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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