I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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