I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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