hell yes lets make some ravioli
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
