I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How external is "for external use only"?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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