dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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