I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
