just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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