My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
