NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize