tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize