I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Randomize
