He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
