Already got asked if we're dating
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Come on in and take your pants off
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