You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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