I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
