There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize