You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
