i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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