But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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