Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
