we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
