He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize