i can't believe i had my finger in that
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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