I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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