I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
